For many years, christmas was held at Ruth and Alan's house. Beautiful cottage not far from Brampton. I loved going there, a great family event and the chance to catch up and have a good laugh. Its got harder as families have expanded but times change and people with it. Thankyou Alan and Ruth for all the years you had us there, you have been wonderful hosts and a joy to be around!!! Looking back on certain christmases, I came across the following photo and script of a play that Rebekah and I had written to try and provide 'entertainment' for Ruth and Alans kids when they were younger, I am sure there will be video footage somewhere. We always liked to do a bit of drama, and the following is just one of the pieces that we wrote, I think it could have been 13 or so years ago. I suppose it was a joint effort but Rebekah has probably been the 'inspirational' one out of the two of us...she was the Jo when I was the Amy (she'll know what that means!!).
As for Ketty, Charis, Jared and Ben. You have ALL been simply 'lovely' to be around, a credit to your parents...you are ALL funny, spirited and wonderful adults....so this is a reminder to you of how much you were loved by us when you 'little' xx
Ruth said to Alan, those kids of ours,
The food that each of them devours,
That Jared, gosh the little tick,
To watch him eat it makes me sick,
And as for Charis, you should see,
I turn around to make the tea,
And while I'm at it, she's been able,
To guzzle any chocolate thats on the table,
Keturah and Ben closely follow,
Their tummy's seem completely hollow.
Alan merely shrugged and sighed,
Ruth waved her frying pan and cried,
From now on our motto is 'WE COME FIRST'
Them kids can always get the worst,
Now look, if we can 'rub them out'
There'd be more cake and curry about,
And stuff for you and me to eat,
Mind you we'd have to be discreet.
Alan said...'well whats to do?'
We can't just flush them down the loo!!
To which Ruth answered 'No,
Their much too big, they wouldn't go.'
'What if', Alan said, 'they fell
Quite accidently down a well'
'Oh no' Ruth said, 'I doubt we oughta
It might polute the drinking water'
'I think its better on the whole,
To take them for a lovely stroll
Into the woods and among the trees
Now surely thats a better wheeze'
'Lets do it' Alan cried, 'and then
We'll never see the brats again'
'Walkies', Ruth and Alan cried,
'It's spring, lets go and hear the birdies sing'
'Lets look out for robins in the trees
And pick some wild anemones'
Keturah suddenly espise,
Ruths shrewd and shifty eyes.
She whispers softly to Charis, 'listen sis'
'I don't much like the smell of this'
'I think our loving mum and dad,
Are plotting something rather bad
I think we'd better mark our track,
To help us on our journey back'
So, on the walk when outward bound,
They scattered dog biscuits on the ground.
They walk, all six, for hours and hours,
And see no robins, pick no flowers,
The wood is dark and cold and bare,
And Alan says 'children stay right there
your mum and I have things to do,
We'll see you later...toodle oo'
'There going to dump us' Charis cried,
'They won't succeed' Jared replied.
'We'll get back home' Keturah said,
'We cannot fail by following our dog biscuit trail'
'Join hands and come with me,
We'll find our way you wait and see'
But oh alas, where crumbs had been,
There now was nothing to be seen.
Young Benedict cried 'you silly twit'
Keilah must have eaten every bit'
Poor little children all alone,
The foul and filthy parents flown,
Poor little children all forlorn,
To face the dismal, murky morn.
'We'll starve to death' young Charis sighed,
While the others stood around and cried.
Then from nearby, an angels voice they heard
Who spoke as follows, word for word,
'Come follow me, you troubled things,
I'll take you on my silver wings,
To safety, to a lovely place,
Where you can live in peace and grace,'
The wondrous angel led them for a while,
For 9 miles towards Carlisle,
Until at last they saw Petteril street,
No 66 had never looked so sweet.
And there before the front door,
These four enraptured children saw,
Granny with a rolling pin,
She smiled, and said 'come on in'
'You must be hungry little lambs'
She fed them cheese toasties with ham,
Pepperoni pizza and gorgeous jam.
The children cried 'oh thankyou gran'
Granny now tweaks their cheeks,
And smiles again, and softly speaks,
'My darling grandchildren, as you see,
You eat extremely well with me'
She then serves up a sunday treat,
A very curious roast of meat,
It was sizzling hot, and crispy brown,
The happy children wolf it down.
Granny says 'do have some more,
I doubt you've tasted this before'
Keturah asks her 'is it lamb?
Or is it beef or is it ham?'
'Whatever it is, I must admit,
It's awfully tender isn't it'
Granny says, 'this is special meat
It's the only kind I like to eat'
Then Jared says 'I'll make a bid,
The meat is either goat or kid'
Granny says 'well no and yes,
I must say 'kids' a clever guess'
She smiled and chewed,
And chewed and smiled,
And looked so innocent and mild.
They left the table as quiet as a mouse,
As granny led them to the wash house.
Keturah said, turning pale,
The place looked like a sort of jail!!
With bars and bolts and horrid things,
Like mannicles and iron rings,
Granny said 'go in and look
I've made it such a cosy nook'
So Jared, Keturah and Ben, wanting to explore,
Went boldly through the open door.
Then granny quickley slammed it 'bang'
The bars and locks and bolts went 'clang'
Hey, let us out the children cried,
You stay in there granny replied.
'I'm going to feed you up a treat,
Until you're fat enough to eat,
And you Charis, will work for me,
And help cook these children for my tea'
But just as the stove got nice and hot,
And water was boiling in the pot,
(The pots for boiling the children in,
the stove for crisping up there skin) Young Charis in her pinafore,
Flings open wide the oven door,
'The fire is going out' she cried,
Granny pokes her head inside,
And Charis with a springy jump,
Takes aim and kicks her on the rump,
Granny totters forward and in she goes,
Head first and last of all her toes,
Now Charis with a gleeful roar,
slams shut the open oven door,
the temperature inside she sees,
is just on 45 degrees.
And soon this red hot oven heat,
gives out the smell of roasting meat.
Charis runs to the wash house,
no longer quiet as a mouse.
'Keturah, Jared, Benedict' she shouts,
'Hooray, we're free at last
Our foul old granny is roasting fast'
Keturah cried 'oh well done you,
What a splendid thing to do,
But then again, you must admit,
You always liked to cook a bit.
With granny gone, we really will starve to death.
Benedict sighed,
The others they just sat and cried.
Then yet again from nearby,
the angels voice they heard,
which spoke as follows word for word.
'Come follow me you troubled things,
I'll take you on my silver wings,
To safety, to a lovely place,
Where you can live in peace and grace'
This wondrous angel led them for a while,
15 minutes across Carlisle,
Until at last they could see,
Brookfield Gardens clear as can be.
They went up the steps,
And knocked on the door,
til these four excited children saw,
These two gorgeous aunties, with,
Flowing locks, shining eyes, gleaming teeth, rosebud lips, slender hips,
stylish clothes, outstanding personalities and flawless skin!!!
Who smiled and said 'come on in'
'We've heard all about your awful ordeal,
How granny nearly had you for her meal,
And how your mum and dad dumped you in the wood,
All cold and wet and covered in mud,
Since we are both single and childless,
We will shower you with our love and kindness,
We can live here together and stuff our faces,
Praise the Lord for his amazing graces,
Remember this and bear in mind,
If two husbands we do find,
You four we will have to send,
To find another home....the end xxx
